2010
I felt like I was stuck in the sand, unable to get out.
Not the best year for me personally, most of you know that I was laid
off from my job in Jan. 2010. What you didn't know was how this has affected me.I have gone through
so many emotions over this, scared to death- our house, was use to functioning on a 2 income basis, to being okay with it when the kids got out of school I thought I'll be able to enjoy the summer, to back to being scared once the kids went back to school because my youngest was starting Kindergarten & I would now be facing these days by myself & I still had not found a job. Then there were my very dark days that I had, where I would just take the kids to school, come home and go back to bed. I've cried, gotten mad, and I would be lying if I said I've not gotten mad at God. I allowed my job loss & lack of being able to find a new one affect every aspect of my life, from my walk with God, to the kids, my marriage, self image, self worth. I mean one person can really only take so many rejection letters & never even getting an answer before it starts to make them wonder.
I've been slowly digging myself back out. During that time the relationship, the one I needed the most -the one with my Saviour suffered probably the most. I am ashamed to admit that, but I find it hard to believe that Iam the only one that has done that. In some way felt like he was keeping me from finding a job, punishing me for some unconfessed sin, or past mistakes.
Of course I knew better, but wanted to believe that.
So, back to the digging myself out, I've begun to realize that I have got to embrace this season in my
life, though I don't know what God has in store for me, I know this last year, we have managed to continue
to be able to get our bills paid each month, & have food on the table. My God has been faithful,
even though I certainly did not deserve it.
So with that being said, Thanks for reading, I don't typically share things
such as this, but I just had to get this out. I want to move forward in this New Year.
I want to walk closer to my Lord from here on out, never leaving him out of my daily activities in life.
Always seeking him first.
Katrina, thanks for sharing! You know, sometimes God leads us to share something, and when we do He blesses not only Us but those who read/hear about it too! This blessed me today! I am praying for God to send the perfect job your way. I know that he has something very special in store for you!! And if you ever need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, you can call on me. I've been there! Really! There have been times that I just couldn't see where money would come from for bills or groceries, but God always provides just when we need it! I know God will bless you for your obedience in sharing this post today!!
ReplyDelete